happy belated birthday to me!!

yesterday was my birthday..so, happy belated birthday to me.. :)
anyway, its not so good day for me..i was hoping for my parents to wish it to me..
but....
until 0000 dated on 29th June 2008, I received no call from my parents..
its hurt a lot..
i don't ask anything from them..i don't ask for present..i just want them to wish it to me..
is it so hard?

i cannot story this..i 'll starting to cry so damn much..

change to other topic, yesterday, my boy came here away from his home..thanks a lot syg..
at least i know there is someone who cares and love me..

even its not last for long period..just more than couple of hour..but I'm happy!!
not going anywhere far, just went to bakery shop to buy a cake and then straight back to hostel for a tiny celebration...

after he returned home, i only spend my rest day at home..so damn boring..my birthday and i dont have any chance to celebrate and enjoy my birthday..sigh.......

make me invisible!!

i keep wondering why i cant be as happy as anyone else around me...looking at them,happy with their life makes me wanna scream!! argh!! why i cant be like them..frankly, each time i see people laughing with their frens, i'm so damn jealous! stalking through their myspace with all the outstanding pics of happiness...sigh..what should i do.. sometimes i really dont know what actually i want in my life..there's no point to go to, no objectives..alone..lonely..

ooohhh...i hope i'm invisible right now....

love,love,love and dissapointment

i don't know what's going on with me lately..i tend to forget everything around me..lately i forgot my boy birthday! oh! its sucks! i don't know how that's happened to me..what actually that i been thinking? maybe i just hearing instead of listening..sigh..i should change my attitude..don't know what else i should do..

in the past few weeks, i always argued with my boy..this continuously happen till now..sometimes its all about small matter..i know he not so well, continuous fever, his leg hurt..and that makes him easily get tempered..its not that i wont understand but he supposed try hard to control his feeling, his emotions..i tend to get hurt,i tend to cry a lot...till when i have to face this..whose fault actually? his or mine?

i'm the one who don't understand or he's the one who never trying?

we even argued in the marriage course..watafak! replying message to each other..arguing about small matter..what is happening to us actually? he even scold me whenever i make a mistake..i only can keep it within my heart..i cry inside..i broke inside..

sayang, if u read this, i want u to know that i love u so much..i need u to understand me, i need u to take care of my feelings, make me feels needed..i miss u a lot..i dont know what happen to us lately but please help me fix it...